“Join our online activities!” These are the four words I fear the most. Not even just “We don’t have chocolate.” Am I the only one?
Based on my experience as a business owner, there is a Revoke company expectations. We will follow unwritten rules on how to get the job done. Rules that may be made before women are allowed to leave the kitchen. A good example is the phrase used to turn us all off – “We have been doing this in this way.” Now, this shows that innovation will help. I will invite you to rethink your networking approach. It’s time to innovate.
Traditional way
When I paint the web, it usually involves a meeting room high-top, after an appetizer, unable to eat with grace, collect piles of business cards, trying to balance your drink (and the aforementioned piles), while still being able to shake hands. Then you spend the entire time doing Hokey Pokey trying to decide whether you are welcome to a new circle.
Does this sound interesting to anyone? Not only that, do you really show yourself as the best, most authentic self in this field?
I have been in sales for my career, which means I have to keep attending these events. Despite my participation frequency, many of my attempts have tried to find new strategies (such as eating ahead or getting a “right” package that isn’t too big but perfectly sized pockets that can easily snap up and store business cards), but they never felt comfortable or effective. It’s more like checking a box.
Decomposition through traditional network
During my business career, I’ve been trapped Deep frustration. If you’ve never experienced it, let me tell you it’s horrible. Your whole world will change, everything is easy, and it feels difficult now. Therefore, the difficult things are transferred to the impossible situation. Can you guess where the network activity has landed during this period?
One thing I learned as I climbed out of the dark abyss I was in was that “put on show” was exhausting me and no longer what I wanted to do. Not only do I not want to, but I put my mental health and wellbeing at risk. That is not negotiable. So I started navigating these events in different ways. My own more timeframe (come in, leave), shifting my goal from the number of people I encountered to the quality of my conversation.
In 2019, I started my own business. The internet is absolutely necessary, but this time I am ready for excitement. After all, I am now a business owner (insert hair flip). Before the world closed, I attended a face-to-face event.
Fortunately, the pandemic offers new ways to connect. This is a super fun place for me. I love seeing creative ways of bringing people together and how the host can promote conversations to help eliminate awkwardness. Yes, there are a lot of things that don’t offer relaxing. But these are equally important. All of this helped me develop new network standards.
How to experience innovative and influential networks
- Intentionally with your time.
- Focus on the best performance. It doesn’t matter if you are in person or virtual.
- If this isn’t your right space, don’t force it.
- Ask interesting questions to meaningful connections.
- Full of open minds, curiosity and excitement, and even learning a new thing.
Interested
How much time do you actually have to do in the network? To solve this problem, time management is needed and more. You need to know how your energy works. If you sign up for five network groups but are exhausted by your busy life, you can only have one event for a month from a large number of events that you can use, then you are wasting your money (or your company’s money). The real tragedy is that you are wasting the most valuable resource of all – your time and energy.
On the contrary, look at the network from a holistic perspective. Ask yourself a question: “Will this event inspire me or drain me on the busiest days?” If it drains you and you have a chance to avoid it, run in the other direction! (If your boss asks you to attend, that’s another conversation we can chat with. Send me a DM. I got you!)
Only work on what you can actually promise. Then you can take the time to show up, stay consistent and make a real connection, rather than a trading type, rather than a trading that makes you feel slimy.
Focus on the best performance
What kind of network excites you? Have you even found out? When you are in the room, virtually or in person, browse this list:
- Am I feeling comfortable here?
- Am I learning something fun and purposeful that benefits me personally and/or professionally?
- Do I have a chance to speak?
- Am I heard?
- Am I enjoying my time in this space?
I was asked to attend (and indeed) the last person exchange event which brought me a lot of social anxiety. Naturally, I committed the basic sin of sitting on a table, talking to people there instead of working in the room. It wasn’t my time or money apart from feeling like I was wearing the clothes I was wearing that night.
But the same month, I actually showed up in five different rooms and started building valuable relationships. These rooms are energized and provide a space for our voices, which I then take the extra step to connect to someone who is in aligned with the feeling.
Bottom line: If you can float at a cocktail party like Belle, go to that room. If a more intimate space gives you the freedom to speak, choose.
If this isn’t your right space, don’t force it
Consider online activities to try out clothes in the locker room. If the jeans aren’t tightened, then there’s no point in buying them. Just because three people told you This is the event you need to attendif you know it is not in the bones – then keep going.
When you try to force it, you will do everything you can to avoid it, create strategies, only checking it briefly there, feeling fearful every minute and every minute of it, and not getting what you need from it. It’s like buying inappropriate jeans and having to ask your other people to help you with zippers every time (and then avoid the toilet for the rest of the day because you can’t have no support, maybe pincers for the needle nostrils).
You get confidence when you discover the ensemble that makes you feel the best. This is how you want to be connected to the internet to make you feel.
Ask interesting questions for meaningful connections
Personally, I think chatting is tiring. Guess what it does? It keeps you small! Do you remember asking the person you made a living or asking the person you brought you joy today? When you ask interesting questions, another person will be happy to answer and the content they share will provide you with some evidence to have more conversations. I asked Joey so you can accept that (free gift alert).
You can also weave things related to the work you do. For example, “Quick Question. I’m doing a poll on the employee resource group. What is your participation in ERGS?” If they are not familiar, then there’s a conversation. If their company owns them but they don’t participate, then you have a follow-up question. Assuming they can indeed participate- there are even more questions and conversations. Please note that this is not a “yes or no” issue. This way, it allows you to flow through ideas like Salt N-PEPA’s biggest hit single.
Full of open minds, curiosity and excitement, and even learning something new
No matter where your career or life journey is, you can learn something at any time. When you participate with a mindset of knowing everything, you not only hurt yourself, but also exudes an atmosphere of “knowing everything”. Do you want to have a relationship with someone like this? Also, if you are looking for negatives, you will find it. Curious what you can learn more interesting?
The in-person event I mentioned earlier has a great group that taught me something new. I am indeed more knowledgeable than when I came in. I am proud of the fact that I participate, push my comfort zone, try new things and gain insight. Yes, this is not the right thing for me to move forward. See all the courses!
Think about learning in a multifaceted way. We may get stuck in the professional part of the network, which shuts down the possibilities of our minds.
Curious and excited about what you will learn:
- Help your career goals (obvious intentions)
- Support your personal brand
- Teach you something about yourself
- Let you know the people you meet
- Makes you different from your relationships (personal or professional)
- Give you a new skill
- Open your heart, so that there is no possibility of imagination
- Soothe your soul (it looks like you at that moment)
The future of the Internet
As a Latino and DEI advocateI know the representation is important. It is also important to build the space we want to have. In this spirit, I created the She Suite connector. This is the secret door for bad guys of people of color and allies to connect in a more meaningful way. The women’s community gathered here shared these insights:
I just wish it was longer! This makes sense. Influential. need.
I have confidence in talking to others and I love the perspectives I show! It must be a fun atmosphere!
You feel immediately supportive and comfortable sharing. I learned a lot from you and other women.
If you want to give up the surface level network, this virtual event may be for you. If you want to invite this secure space, please send me a message. Send me an email to jackie@inspiredjourneyconsulting.com.
When you attend the next web event, try the criteria above and tell me how to do it. Your voice is important.
