What is your next chapter? It’s always big for me. I moved around the country, got married, and started a business. These are big chapters. In fact, we can turn the pages to something new inside us that changes our future. This can happen through travel.
Even with all the internal work on myself, I know there is something missing. Since I practiced my preaching, I turned to healthy travel. Advivum Journeys A radical leave was held in Kent and it called my name. The description is “Living life completely, without a doubt from your center.” Not entirely sure what it means at the time. During the pandemic, I’ve met it Tania Carrierefounder of Advivum Journeys, I was immediately attracted to her. I have something to do with how she focuses on her internal work. Every time I talk to her, she brings a sense of peace and brings me into a more peaceful state. Even on her outrageous days, Tanya is still the kindest, most central person. I know I trust her. It’s time to become radical.
First draft
The journey begins with pre-work. I was sent two workbooks to complete, which helped me to get a clearer understanding of my experience. In hindsight, I think this clears up what I think is the problem. It also introduced me to my top five strengths, which was on site. Learning is ranked number one on my list, then honesty, kindness, fairness and perspective. (If you are interested in finding yours, please visit By character.org. ) I have to be sure I want to rely on and send past versions of the picture. I thought little Jackie would reappear at some point. So cool – she is cute.
Begin taking a vacation
Fast forward to cross the pond. I haven’t been to London in eight years and it shocked me considering how often I’ve been to. Once I landed at Heathrow Airport, it was easy to be natural there. After all this time, it still feels like the second home (Boston always comes in number one). My mission was to take the train to Kent, which was a little daunting at first. However, I knew my anxiety and gave myself enough time to prepare for the twists and turns.
Two hours later I arrived at Canterburyey Station and was looking for five women I’ve never met who I would have with a taxi. When one of them shouted, “She’s there! I know there’s a Jackie coming, but I didn’t realize it was Jackie Robbie!” Have I seen this person before? In a virtual room or on social media? Oh, nonsense. Thinking of Jackie, thinking about it. After a few minutes, I learned that this was our first interaction, so I felt relieved. Then I know that my #travelcanheal information is spreading.
Become radical
We arrived at the house in Goodnestone House for the next four nights. Tania, Anne and Melanie greeted us and took each of us to the assigned room. After settling down, we met in the circle for the first time. “You don’t have a backstory this week. Neither your character nor your title has a place. Not telling your history. It’s your mission, it’s who you are and a chapter you wrote for the future.” Well, that’s the first and a challenge for me. I must say this is one of my favorite gains of the week. It challenges the challenge of staying present and further in my dreams. Plus, it helped 12 strangers find common ground and build bonds of sisterhood in less than 24 hours. I never thought it was possible. Especially my new social anxiety.
I’m a little bit of a public book about how I feel. I thought of the idea that I was seeking self-worth. But, I realized that I was really looking for myself to believe in myself, sitting in this room, sitting in this room. Like a booked calendar, I need to make room for that person to appear. Then what should I put? Enter Little Jackie to be one of my muse of the week. Tanya asked, “What questions would she ask you to support your mission?” Well, that’s easy. Whose voice are you listening to? Why are we not famous yet?
Life My Next Chapter
The next morning, I had to make sure that the burden I took was hindering my belief in my pursuit. Then I had to name it…loud…in front of 14 women I met the day before. I hardly told the truth because I never said it to anyone outside my trustworthy circle. But I know True recovery requires courage So I said something I’ve been hiding for nearly 40 years. “My name is Jackie, and I chose to bear the burden of conditional love my parents have for their pursuit of trusting themselves.”
Only my therapist, husband and sister know the intensity of the rehabilitation work I have done around this. What I never thought was leaving England without the pain that bothered me. Thanks to this retreat and the epiphany of Tanya’s design, I was given a gift that lasts a lifetime. This retreat provides the time, space and support I need to take care of me just me. Not my business, my family or grocery list (this is never ending), but just me. Therefore, I stand here today to claim my self-confidence. Are you ready to become radical?
